RETURN ON PICK UP LINE

Accountants seem very boring and unromantic. Guess again. Are you single? Would you like a higher Return on Pick-up Attempts Ratio? Yes? Then here it goes…

If you were an item in my consolidated accounts, I will eliminate every journal entry except you.

I'm just a deferred tax asset waiting to be recognized.

I know i seem like a boring, mundane person, but if you take me at my face value, i could be more than you bargained for.

My love for you is like land. It will never depreciate.

You're a debit, and I'm the Credit you've always been waiting for.

You should go out with me because i'm good at reconciling...balance sheet..

I'm like a hedging contract - I may hold you back sometimes, but I can give you security.

Marriage is like an investment, but the only dividend you get is love

Can I record my satisfaction entry in your general journal?

Can I satisfy your vendor liability with my bonus share?

‎"Trust me, I'm an accountant, I know how to manipulate firm assets."

Sure I expensed my time but my memories of you are an asset that will never depreciate.

My love for you is like an intangible asset with an indefinite life, you will never need to amortize it. [AASB 138 para. 107] (unless of course there are indicators of impairment, but lets just ignore para 108 for a bit).

Posted in: Jokes